The CUSFS Dictionary of Imaginative and Revolting Drinks

• CUSFS
• MODULAR ONE
• His big brother PHOENIX
• ... and a small furry animal

Tidied up and further additions made Simon Arrowsmith 1989.

Most recent change: Matthew Vernon 07/11/99

An incipient hatemail production

The Society's Port

The Bloodies

Bloody Paddy

1/2 pint of Guinness and a bottle of tomato juice

Bloody Red Baron

Tomato juice, Campari, port

Bloody Silly

Take a glass and eat it!

Bloody Disgusting

Tomato juice, Pernod, Southern Comfort, lime juice

Bloody Expensive

Tomato juice, anything else until the price exceeds a fiver

Bloody Tourist

Tomato juice, Coke

Stir with a straw until it coagulates

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Tomato juice, Blue curaco

Bloody Boring

Tomato juice, tomato juice

Bloody Carter

Tomato juice, vodka, a packet of peanuts

Bloody Peculiar

Tomato juice, pint of Old Peculier

Battered Baby

Tomato juice, Babycham

Bloody Discharge

Tomato juice, green ginger wine

Bloody Soviets

Russchian, tomato juice

Bloody Meredith

Triple vodka, drop of tomato juice

Bloody Awful

See The Number of the Beast.

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Bloody Aardvark

Advocaat, tomato juice

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The Aardvarks

The Aardvark

Advocaat, cherry brandy, blackcurrant juice, cherry and ice to taste

Aardvark Never Did Anyone Any Harm

Advocaat, sulphuric acid

Long Aardvark

Snow-ball, a small bottle of cherry wine, black currant juice, extra lemonade as required

Soft Aardvark

Advocaat, Cointreau, bitter lemon

Aardvark Mac (Gay Aardvark)

Advocaat, green ginger wine

Clean Aardvark

Advocaat, gin, blackcurrant juice

Devil's Advocaat (Demoniacal Aardvark)

Advocaat, Tabasco sauce

Strawberry Aardvark

Campari, Advocaat

Bombed Out Aardvark

Advocaat, malt whisky, ginger wine, lime, lemon (bitter)

Pregnant Aardvark

Aardvark, milk

Scottish Aardvark

Aardvark and Drambuie

Scotch Aardvark

Aardvark and scotch

Sick Aardvark

Aardvark and coke

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A Course of Physics

Physics

A can of coke, a packet of peanuts

Advanced Physics

A pint of boiling Guinness

Absolute Zero

One Polo in a glass

Voltaic Jar

One U2, pint of lager

Packs a real charge

Neutronium

Condensed milk, black treacle

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Seeing Stars

Telescope

Bacardi, a packet of Polos

Twelve of these and you see stars

Neutron Star

Neutronium, flat Stella Artois

Super Nova

1 Glass of liquid nitrogen, 1 glass of boiling Guinness

Black Hole

Mackeson, port, blackcurrant juice, dark rum ... and anything else you care to think of because you can add anything to a black hole without affecting it!

Naked Singularity

Black hole with an ice cube

Universe

Galaxy chocolate in Guinness

Cosmic Egg

Egg flip, Space Dust

Cosmic Chicken

Cosmic egg + time

Great Red Spot

Hot chocolate, dollop of raspberry jam

Asteroid Belt

Peanuts in Guinness

White Dwarf

Calpis, vodka

Callisto

Ice on the rocks

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Machines and Men

Sonic Screwdriver

Vodka, orange juice, Rice Krispies

Fire Extinguisher

Bacardi, Coke, half a pound of sherbet

Towering Inferno

Bacardi, chilli powder

Peanut Separator

Lime, vodka, Pernod, Cinzano, pineapple, ice

...Any ideas for a crisp separator?

Cyberaid

Cider, beer

Calculator

Pimms no. 1 until you reach the required number

Programmable calculator

Calculator, chips

Cyborg

Cider, Tuborg

V2

Vimto, Vimto

Demolishes entire cities

Captain Vimto

1 Captain Morgan's rum, 1 Vimto

TV

Theakston's Bitter, Vimto

You know it's bad for your eyes

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Miscellany One

Elric of Melnibone

Vodka, milk and two cherries

Finnegan's Wake-up

A pint of lager (Stella is best), a small can of baked beans

James Joyce

Half a pint of Guinness, a packet of Handy-Andies

James Joyce Russian Style (Vodka and something soft)

Vodka, 1 Handy-Andy, if required extra strong, use two

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The Hugo Winners

The Demolished Man

One avocado, coconut liquer, gin, vodka, milk, ice. Place in blender. Frappe. Pour in large glass and top up with lemonade.

They'd Rather Be Right

But it's more fun to be wrong. Gin and coke or Bacardi and tonic.

Double Star

A double of two-star brandy. Of course.

The Big Time

Slimovitz, Pimm's, Vimto and Orange juice. You remember, the scene where someone gets turned inside out...

A Case of Conscience

You'll lose yours with this: Foster's and vodka (to be drunk by the Dozen)

Starship Troopers

Grenadine, cream and blue curaco. Fly the flag! This'll teach those gooks a thing or two.

A Canticle for Leibowitz

German white wine with Gherkins (a can of pickles for Liebfraumilch).

Stranger in a Strange Land

Sambuca, Amaretto, Mango juice (hey what's all this stuff doing in my glass?)

The Man in the High Castle

Sake and schnapps. On the Rockies. No wonder they won the war.

Way Station

Ten pints of Carling Black Label. Start walking briskly to nearest way station.

The Wanderer

Parfait Amour and Galiano. Makes you wander, doesn't it?

...And Call Me Conrad

After this you could call me Cynthia and I wouldn't care. Ouze and Domestika. Add a dash of godhood to taste.

Dune

Lager and Galiano. Add sand and worms as desired.

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress

Starship Troopers plus seven years and a piece of green cheese.

Lord of Light

Malibu, cream, vodka, with a sparkler.

Stand On Zanzibar

Just try after drinking this. Dark rum, Light rum, whisky, gin, brandy, vodka, curaco, cherry brandy, advocaat, sherry, tomato juice, pineapple juice, creme de cacao, kahlua, cream ... that's if you can find room for them in the glass.

The Left Hand of Darkness

Water and crushed ice. Pretty futile, isn't it?

Ringworld

Green lager with Polo mints. An old CUSFS favourite (yawn).

To Your Scattered Bodies Go

Southern Comfort, Silver Label Smirnoff, dark rum, Bailey's Irish Cream, crushed ice. Serve in a highball glass. Now pick up the pieces.

The Gods Themselves

Foster's lager. What else do you think the God's drink?

Rendezvous with Rama

3 parts dry Martini, 3 parts dry sherry, 3 parts dry ice. Remember, the Ramans do everything in threes. (Well, ALMOST everything.)

The Disposessed

A Whimbo and a tripple-thick shake. If you can swallow this you can swallow anything.

The Forever War

Parfait Amour, Creme de Menthe, Pernod, Ginger wine and Royal Mint Chocolate Liqueur. Now try and get it to go down. That's the Forever War!

Where Late the Sweet Birds Sang

Bird's eye peas, sweet vermouth and ice. Would you vote for this?

Gateway

Opens up new synapses... you'll find things in your head you never knew you had. Cointreau, gin, Campari, lemonade and ice. Stir. Garnish with lemon. Who are the Heechee?

Dreamsnake

Cream'n'sake. Pretty cunning, eh?

The Fountains of Paradise

Champagne - shake well before serving.

The Snow Queen

Advocaat, vodka and lemonade. (Unoriginal, but at least it's better than Ringworld Engineers.)

Downbelow Station

A pint of gravel with a discarded ticket top. Well that's all that's below most stations!

Foundation's Edge

Vodka, creme de cacao, gin, blackcurrant, malibu and cointreau. Potentially very good but leaves a nasty taste in the mouth!

Startide Rising

A pint of seawater to the accompanyment of 'Iron Maiden'. Conversely seawater and Metal Hurlant

Neuromancer

Vodka, vodka, vodka, pineapple juice, white rum, white rum, white rum and orange juice. It sounds like too much hard work but tastes wonderful!

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Miscellany Two

Wee

A few drops of lager. Make up to a pint with water

Canteen Coffee

Dubonnet, cream sherry, cherry brandy, Advocaat, orange juice to remove taste

A Cure for the Common Cold

Martini, Creme De Menthe, cherry brandy, Campari

Soulfire

Whisky, Worcester Sauce

Lifesaver

Lager (green), Polos

Top O' the Morning

Guinness, cream

Boatclub Special

1/2 pint Greene King, 1/2 pint of Cam water

Lemming

Pint of Trophy, orange juice, a twist of lemming

Trojan Horse

Bacardi, cherry brandy, Southern Comfort, sherry, Angostura Bitters Worcester sauce, slice of lemon (optional)

Quick Lime

Lime juice, teaspoonful of epsom salts

A Whiter Shade of Pale

1 bottle of pale ale, 1/2 pint of milk

National Health Orange Juice

Grapefruit juice, Lucozade

Any Port in a Storm

Port, rum, brandy

A Poke in the Eye

1 Cherry, 1 very sharp stick

Get it? - you will!

What do you call: tonic water, dry martini and bitters?

Tonic water, Dry Martini, bitters

Vodka optional

I Have No Ice and Want to Cream

A pint of warm skimmed milk

Busted Kneecap

Bourbon, dry ice

mmm...

Frazzles Peat

Green lager, Frazzles

Drambuie Shandy

Drambuie, lemonade

Blasphemy

Glenfiddich, peppermint

Sacrilege

Chartreuse, peppermint

Heresy

Hennessy Cognac, peppermint

French Kiss

Pernod and Polos

Try rolling your tongue around the hole...

Harvey Court Special (A Serious Drink?)

Cointreau, two measures of rose wine. Make up to half a pint with lemonade

Green Dragon

Creme De Menthe/Freezomint, Pernod, green ginger wine, green Chartreuse (optional), lime juice

Long Slow Comfortable Screw

Vodka, sloe gin, Southern Comfort, pineapple juice

Iron Maiden

Surgical alcohol, industrially synthesised aldehydes, engine oil, brake fluid, metal swarf, perished rubber and stale sweat. Marinate in an old leather jacket for five years and serve with a bicycle chain.

The Iron Maiden

Blue curaco, Blue Nun, Blue Vinney, Esso Blue and Blutak. Leaves a nasty taste in your mouth.

U.F.O.

A pint of lager (green), a packet of peanuts

Speaks for Itself (as it crawls out of the glass)

Coke, ginger ale, vodka, Campari, Bacardi, Vimto to taste

(actually you can taste it without the Vimto)

V and V

Vodka, Vimto

Southern Irish

Guinness, green lager, Southern Comfort.

Brian Aldiss

Slimovitz, Vimto

Beetle

Double vodka, double Worcester sauce

Smooth, like broken glass

KitKat Flambe

Polish vodka (or any other imflammable liquid), a Kitkat, a box of matches

Dunk Kitkat in fuel, ignite Kitkat with a match and consume while still burning (No! the Kitkat, stupid.)

Toffee Flambe

As above only a lot stickier.

Poteen Sunrise (by Bob Shaw)

As a Tequila sunrise, but the sun doesn't come up

Deathworld 1

Turkish coffee, creosote

Deathworld 2

Coca Cola, Domestos

Deathworld 3

Vinegar and antifreeze - or conversely buy some Austrian white wine!

Mezmekzeeb

Advocaat, Bacardi, Cinzano, Drambuie, egg, flip, Guinness, heavy water, ink, jelly, Kronenberg, Lucozade, Mackeson, Nescafe, olive oil, Pernod, Quarent y Tres, Ribena, semolina, tea, urine, Vimto, Worcester sauce, Xerox copying fluid, yoghurt, zychotic fluid

Add rest of known universe to taste

Algol 68

Ginger beer, coke (in that order)

Algol 68C

Algol 68, tomato juice.

Metal Hurlant

Lead, gold, osmium, tungsten, uranium and cobalt. Serve at 1200 degrees centigrade!

The Number of the Beast

6 measures ouzo, 6 Babychams, 6 pints of Fosters. Tomato juice as required. Just try and stomach that lot.

A Pint of Something Alcoholic

Double vodka topped up with warm brine.

Alexander

A glass of cream and one (1) strawberry.

Eater of Souls

1 measure Southern Comfort, 1 measure Baileys, the same again in fresh orange juice. Fill up to half a pint with coke, stir vigorously.

Quantum Death

(Pure) orange juice and Blue Curacao. One measure of Curacao to a half pint of orange juice makes a nice green colour.

Glacier

(Pure) orange juice, Stolichnaya vodka, blue food colouring, Alligator Baggies, pliers, liquid nitrogen. Mix one measure of Stoli and some food colouring in a baggie, twist the end and submerge in the LN_2 (using the pliers) until frozen. Pop into a half pint of orange juice and enjoy.

Recent additions

Catastrophic exothermic reaction

Vodke, Irn Bru and Tabasco Sauce. Serve orange.

New Labour

Cherry Brandy and Blue Curacao

Bleeding Heart Liberal

Advocaat. Add a drop of cherry brandy to the middle, and put a cherry on top.

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Last adjusted 07/11/99

All suggestions to Matthew Vernon

(matthew@sel.cam.ac.uk)

Converted to HTML by Stephen Early, 22/04/94