CUSFS and Jómsborg the New: Veizla 2009

The Veizla is the annual dinner of CUSFS and Jomsborg the new, to be held in New Hall (Murray Edwards to the incorrigibly youthful) on the 12th of June. Tickets can be purchased by emailing the Reeve (md401) before the 21st of May. They cost £31 for drinkers, £22 for non-drinkers, and an extra £3 for non-members. Formal wear, good food, and hopefully your delightful company. The day after there will be a punting trip.

During the course of the evening, you will be asked to answer The Reeve's challenge: Prove that you are not a robot. For bonus points, prove you are not a wizard either. Alternatively, prove you are one or both of these things.

"Have at thee, knave! These organs of flesh and blood will find no tranquil repose until the slain corpse of thy hominid form lies in the discarded waste detritus of this chamber's underpinning base," expressed the statuesque nomad. "Aye, but by the morose eyebrows of Rnts, thou'll be seen by me to sample the acrid caustic seasoning of the reaper's destructive farm implement aforehand," quoth the Reeve distastefully, manoeuvring his keen glacial steel close inside the itinerant's upper limb. "Thou art an emissary herald, an envoy hauling a communiqué? Vocalize thy notice then, in advance of when I slaughter and execute thy woeful wretched self," the momentous eminent mortal pronounced, simply and fluidly encumbering the roving vagabond's return blow.

The chagrined errant grinned a direful smirk. "'Tis firmly determinate, noble. Thou and the dismal lugubrious inverts who chaperone and pilot thee are courted to attend a banquet feast. For a mere diminutive one and thirty of thy mundane units of currency - or a stuntedly petite score and two for those who will not condescend to quaff and consume the intoxicant liquor of my lord and master's spirits - thou shalt have the fill of my master's table. Of course, those not presently here affiliated with thy retinue must contribute a further triplicity," retorted the weary representative.

"Three golden coins in addition? What demented insane madness is this, where for a measly piddling 3n+1 of those valuable circular orbs they would be admitted to my cortege for n annual periods, and gain the free liberty of my archive stacks, yet newly installed in position and openly accessible once again. And forsooth, I have yet to even enlighten thee that these joined folks and personages could coalesce with our seminar convocations, without incurring and evoking the scowling visage of the remainder of our conglomeration which so readily emerges upon one who would presume to associate to us in want of suitable remittance," roared the mammalian boss, bringing his lower appendages in clamorous clashing contact with a feverish radiant brazier. The leaden cloud of ashen slate engulfed and enveloped the duelling twosome.

"Mayhap it may not tariff them even that much sacrifice. You permit them, do you not, to provide a contribution of reading materials for said archive, and thereby escape and evade the fee it would cost? And I retain the knowledge - oh yes, for thou hast been foolish enough to serialize and distribute the decrepitude of thy repository in open, unclassified configuration located by http://www.srcf.ucam.org/cusfs/cat.pl - that manifold works and achievements of note of more contemporary recent time are lacking therefrom," grunted the villain sharply amidst the shrouded ambiguous conflict. "Thou'rt wise and yet foolish, for such will be acknowledged and accepted only with the consent and condonance of the fearsome dire guardian of my repository of work," acknowledged the superior combatant with a final conclusive flash of disembowelling steel.

But the triumphant roguish warlord was not unmarred by laceration. Though mortally harmed and wounded he was not heretofore devoid of the power to express his elegant thought. "My assemblage shall attend and visit this festivity. And since my selfhood must soon depart this place of existence, a successor to follow me hereafter must be nominated and adopted. I will do that thereat, and ye must submit and yield to such as ye do to my own individual. For when the glowing orb of lifeful illumination rises astride the oriental horizon, our longboat must depart and set sail for the state of Norway," he uttered.

At this the expiring mailman chuckled his amusement amidst his expiring life fluid. "Forsooth, Reeve, thou'rt a more proficient dummy than my own existence! Thy Norway is merely the affiliate town of Granchester, and thy longboat naught but a lashed assemblage of pu-" ventilated the moribund vagrant, preceding his bisection by the colossal veteran's frozen weapon.